Getting a Friend to Join the Fashion

I wrote about the sad occurrence of when a friend leaves the fashion like a week ago, so I wanted to write about when a friend wants in. I've introduced a few people to the fashion, some of which I regret, but most that I don't. It's kind of cool to help your friend pick out clothes, learn about styles, and all that good stuff.

1. Send them to blogs, picture sites (daily lolita, GLB scans, brand shops, etc.), the EGL livejournal, or what have you.

Information is best. Like for example, right now I'm trying to learn more about fairy kei and decora to make a sort of hybrid style for a doll of mine. But, I can't find any really excellent fairy kei sites (if you know of any, link 'em in the comments section). There are a plethora of lolita sites out there in practically every language you could possibly need. Information on this style is easily available, you just have to find really good info written by experienced lolitas.

2. Help them pick out some pieces!

More often than not, an experienced lolita can guide their friend to purchasing something that looks good, is a quality product, and fits their general aesthetic. If left to their own devices, newbies to the style often make some unfortunate choices with their money (I know I did!). So be honest (but not mean) and make suggestions based on your friend's preferences. Tell them about Fan + Friend, Taobao shops, and Bodyline (all great options). Also tell them about second hand options, such as the egl community sales and Closet Child. If they'll be making their own, go with them to the fabric store, tell them about Sew_Loli, and encourage them along the way.

3. Take them to a meet-up

Introduce them to your other lolita friends. Let them get a feel for the group. I always enjoy seeing new faces at meet-ups. They can learn a lot about the style by actually seeing people wear it in real life. If they're making their own pieces, they can get an idea of styles, shapes, prints, colors, and even take measurements (if your friends are willing).

So there's the quick and dirty rundown about getting a friend into the fashion. Don't drag them in kicking and screaming, but if they have a genuine interest, then help them get started! It's always fun to bring someone new to a meet-up! Good luck!

Hosting a Meet-up at your House

I thought that this was worthy of it's own article, as it's a bigger undertaking than hosting a meet-up somewhere else. However, hosting a meet-up in your home allows for more freedom of activity and can be really fun! I'm planning one for later this spring, maybe as a spring garden party with an easter egg hunt or something.

If you've decided to host a meet-up in your home, then there are a few steps to take. The first of which is inviting people. I personally think that it's absolutely fine to send out private invitations for this type of meet-up. After all, you are inviting people into your home, and you might not want to have absolutely everyone in your area show up. For instance, I live in a very small apartment. If I were to have a meet-up there, I could really only accommodate for about 7 to 10 people at most. If I were to open the invitation to everyone, I could end up with 13 to 15 people, which will not fit into my house. So invitations are perfectly fine. If you are going to mail actual invitations, don't just print off a blank paper with the information. Decorate them around the theme, handwrite them on some stationary, or even hand-make the whole thing using scrapbooking supplies. If you don't want to go this route, send out e-vites! There are hundreds of templates here, as well as party planning ideas, recipes, and decoration suggestions all on this site. E-vites can be great, especially if you don't know the addresses of the people you've invited. Just make sure to have people RSVP if they are going to be able to come.

That's the easy part. Now comes the harder parts. You need to decide what kinds of food you will have available. If someone has a serious allergy, then they need to tell you before they get there (as with any meet-up involving any kind of food). As a rule of thumb, I try to have at least one vegetarian/vegan option for anything I host. You could have it be a pot-luck style meet-up where everyone brings something that they like. This can be easier if you're having a big party or you don't want to cook a whole lot. If it's a more casual type meet-up, like a movie night or something, then you can either make or buy typical snacks. *Tip! Water bottles are much easier than using cups if you're having something more casual. If you're having some sort of formal meal, then cups are much more elegant and preferable. If you're going to have a meal, then you are probably going to be cooking it yourself. Try to choose things that can be prepared ahead of time and either served cold or reheated. You don't want to be messing around with cooking in your lolita best. In addition to that, make sure that you have enough plates, cups, napkins, silverware, etc. so that you aren't scrambling at the last minute. If you need trays, then make sure they're washed/purchased and ready to go.

Finally, you have to clean your house. I know it's a pain, but if you are going to have people in your home, you want it to look its best. If you have an animal, it might be best to enclose it somewhere where it can't escape outside (if you'll have the door open for a garden party) or bother your guests (some may be allergic or afraid of certain animals). Run the vacuum, dust, do all your dishes, air out your house, mop, whatever you need to do to make things look great for your guests. Take a minute to get rid of old magazines and/or newspapers by recycling or throwing them out. Close off any doors that you don't want your guests going through and make sure you don't forget the bathroom! If you don't have a powder room, remember to put your personal effects away, like your toothbrush, make-up, and any medications. Empty all the trash cans. Put fresh towels out and maybe a candle. Fresh flowers are always a good idea, especially if you grow your own.

The very last things you should do are preparing the food to be served and decorating. At this point, everything should already be cooked, all you'll need to do is heat it up and put it on the plate(s). The goal here is not to make a big mess. Any dishes should be in the dishwasher or washed by hand, especially if you don't have a dishwasher. You don't want your guests to see a pile of dirty dishes in the sink! After the food is done and the mess is cleaned up, you can decorate! It's hard to clean around decorations, so make sure you're putting them in places you've already cleaned. Themes are great, but don't be afraid to customize or even make your own decorations. If you don't want to do anything major with decorating, flowers in vases scattered throughout the party space is always great. If you're having a movie night type of party, don't worry about decorating. After all, your guests will mostly be looking at the movie, not your house!

After your meet-up is over, make sure to clean up properly, especially if you live with parents, siblings, some other family member, or room mates. They will appreciate this greatly! I hope you throw some awesome meet-ups in your home using my little guide. A lot of these things are common sense, but you'd be surprised at how often some things can get forgotten. Let me know if you have any questions on my formspring, and please become a follower of my blog!

Hosting a Meet-up

This is part two of my previous post on attending a meet-up. This one focuses on hosting a meet-up. There are many different types of meet-ups and many choices to make when planning your own meet-up. But if you follow this guide, you're sure to have a great time and a smooth meet-up.

1. Decide what kind of meet-up to have

First, you need to decide whether you want to have your meet-up in a private place, like your home, or in a public place. Meet-ups held in your home are things like crafting meet-ups, cookie swaps, casual meet-ups, or my personal favorite, video game tournaments! I really would like to host a wii party with a few people from my local group sometime soon. If you are having your meet-up in a public place, you need to decide where. Do you want to have it at a museum or gallery? Do you want to go to eat? Do you want to go shopping? The possibilities are endless.

2. Post It!

If you are hosting a meet-up, you probably know your local community and have been to a meet-up before. If you are just meeting with some friends, that's fine too. No matter what, you need to get the information out there! Post the info to your local page, your facebook, myspace, what have you. I cannot stress this enough, if you are going to be eating somewhere, make sure to ask people to list any allergies or dietary restrictions that they have BEFORE you make a reservation! You do not want anyone to feel left out because they can't eat at the restaurant or have someone have an allergic reaction. Do all of this pretty early so that people can plan to come to your meet-up, especially if you need to make reservations or anything. I suggest at least two weeks.

3. Make Sure People RSVP

You want people to tell you that they are coming to your meet-up. If they are bringing any friends, family members, or a significant other, they need to specify this. Make a list of people that are coming and take it with you. If people are going to be coming late, write this down too. This way you aren't waiting for people that are coming later and make sure you don't leave anyone behind.

4. Try and Talk to Everybody

Especially if there are new people. I am a moderator for our local community, so I try my best to make everyone feel welcome. If you notice someone is especially shy or not talking to anyone, go up and try talking to them. This is really tough for me because I'm very shy, but I try my best. See the previous article for conversation starters.

5. Be Prepared to Change Plans

Stuff happens. In the winter, it snows and roads become impassible. In the summer, it rains when you're trying to have a picnic. Restaurants are randomly closed, places renovate, crowds happen. So think of a back up plan for things that can go wrong. In the winter, have a pre-determined snow date. If it rains the day of your picnic, have it inside a park gazebo. If the restaurant is closed, look for similar ones nearby. I had a meet-up once that the place we were going would only take reservations the morning of the day you want to go. I called and they were booked full for a baby shower. So I called my back up place. And it was booked for a wedding shower! So I called my third back up and they were open. In the end, it worked out! Just goes to show you, you can never be too prepared.

Remember to have fun and be yourself! Meet-ups are a great way to meet other lolitas, make friends, and have a good time. I hope this helps you to start organizing your own meet-ups in your town! If you read my blog regularly, please become a follower of it! And as always, if you have any questions, comments, or requests, post them here as a comment, or let me know on my Formspring!

Attending a Meet-up

Many cities and towns all over the world have local groups of lolitas. They get together from time to time and do various activities together. A meet-up can be as simple as a few people meeting at a coffee house for lunch, or they can be formal affairs that have been planned months in advance. No matter where you will be meeting, there are a few rules of thumb to keep in mind.

1. How dressy/casual should I dress?

Where will you be going? If you're going to a fancy tea house, it might not be appropriate to wear a more casual style. On the other hand, if you are meeting outdoors for a picnic, you'll need to take the temperature into account. I went to a meet-up that was in a botanical gardens once. It was the beginning of summer, and it was absolutely stifling! I almost passed out from the heat. Avoid long sleeves if you know you could get hot. If the temperature is questionable, for example, it is cool outside but you will be inside for part of the time, consider a light sweater or a bolero that can be removed if you get too hot.

2. What do I need to take with me?

I always take my wallet, cell phone, a snack (just in case), keys, camera, and a pad of paper and a pen. Why a pad of paper? Because! There is absolutely no doubt that if you are meeting in a public place, someone at sometime will ask for more information. It can be a passer-by on a street, a new member of the group who wants more information on the local community, or even to simply exchange email addresses. It never fails that if I forget my paper and pen, someone needs it. If you have any medications that you may need to take (especially allergy-sufferers), don't forget to take that along!

3. Can I bring my boyfriend/girlfriend/regular friend/significant other?

This is a personal pet peeve of mine. So many times has it happened that someone will say "I will be there" but forget to mention that they are bringing +1. Please do not forget to tell the organizer that you are bringing someone along! Especially if reservations have to be made. I personally don't take my boyfriend to meet-ups, but it's because he would be bored out of his mind. If the person you want to bring is actually interested in the fashion, even if they don't wear it themselves. Of course it's always even better if they wear it too!

4. What do I talk about?

If this is your first meet-up, it's normal to be a little nervous. I know I was. I almost went home three times as I was driving there. But trust me, it was worth it to stick it out and be nervous. Most people are nice in person. If you want a conversation-starter, outfit rundowns are always a safe bet. Many groups also play small ice breaker games, especially if there are a lot of new people. How did you find out about lolita? What is your favorite style? All of these questions are perfectly fine to ask.

5. Have Fun!

Take lots of pictures and smile a lot! It's fun to meet with other people that share your interests. You probably will have more in common with some people than just Lolita fashion. So remember to have fun. That is the most important part of all!

Do you have any other thoughts on attending meet-ups? Leave them here in the comments section below! Next time: Hosting a Meet-up. General types of meet-ups that can be held easily and without too much planning, being a good host, and the planning that goes into a meet-up!

A Quick Guide to Tea

Tea is perhaps the oldest beverage around. It was found in ancient China, when tea leaves accidentally fell into a boiling pot of water. The emperor drank it and found it to be delicious! Thus, tea became a staple in Asia. However, tea did not make it to Europe as a whole until much much later. Sure, some tea came to European towns through the Silk Road, but tea was not nearly as popular and easily available until the 16th century, when a Venetian author attributed long life to tea drinking. From there, tea spread like wildfire. It was first marketed to Europeans as a medicinal beverage, but it wasn't long before the courts of Europe took to tea and made it a refined beverage for the wealthy. Tea parties became popular amongst high class women and their friends. Soon, Dutch settlers took tea to what is now known as New York state. But it wasn't until the mid 1800's that High Tea, an English tradition, was created.

Tea is probably my favorite type of lolita meet-up to attend. Even if it isn't a traditional English tea service, it's still a lovely time. High Tea in England is like a small dinner and is also called meat tea. What this actually means is that tea is served with smoked meats and fishes, eggs, small sandwiches, and breads. In America, we use the term "High Tea" to refer to what the British call a Full Tea. Full Tea involves small sandwiches, hors d'oeuvre (appetizers), scones with clotted cream and jam, and assorted pastries.

Many American tea houses offer different choices for tea. For example, my favorite tea place offers a full tea service with the scones and the sandwiches and everything. However, they also offer a simpler tea, served with assorted scones and cakes. Depending on how much time you have, what you want to spend, and the different choices offered at your tea house, tea can be a fantastic meet-up to attend.

Types of Tea

Pretty much everyone knows about green tea and black tea. But there's also white tea, oolong tea, herbal "tea," and pu-erh tea. Each one has a distinct flavor profile, aroma, and color. However, these types only refer to when the tea is picked, how it is picked, and what is done after it's picked.

Green Tea

After the tea leaves are picked, they are immediately dried, baked, panfried to dry it out for packaging. Because it is immediately processed, many of the antioxidants and other healthy things are sealed in. This makes green tea a great choice for health conscious tea-drinkers.

Black Tea

The leaves are allowed to oxidize and develop deep and complex flavors. Each black tea is unique to the grower, with no two being quite the same.

White Tea

This tea is picked before the leaves are fully developed, right before the buds open. These are then air dried and packaged for sale. Because the tea leaves are picked before they are mature, this tea is more expensive. It also contains three times the levels of antioxidants as green tea, as well as other health benefits.

Oolong Tea

Oolong tea is somewhere between green tea and black tea. It's allowed to oxidize, but not as much as black tea. The resulting flavor is very smooth.

Herbal Tea

It's not really tea at all because it does not contain tea leaves. Instead it is made up of roots, seeds, flowers, other types of leaves, and other parts of plants and herbs. It often serves a medicinal purpose, but chamomile and peppermint teas fall under this category too. It's made the same way as tea with tea leaves is made.

Pu-erh Tea

Pu-erh tea is unique to the Yunnan province of China, just like Champagne is a type of grape only grown in the Champagne region of France. The leaves are allowed to grow a thin layer of harmless mold. This tea is known for its health benefits, particularly known for reducing high cholesterol.

No matter what type of tea you enjoy, tea is a delightful beverage for any time of day or year. Right now, my favorites are jasmine tea, an herbal tea called Rooibos tea, and oolong tea picked by specially trained tea-picking monkeys. However in the summer, I drink enough sweet iced tea to keep Lipton's in business for a long time. I make loose-leaf tea, but if you want to get a tea bag, then I highly recommend Tazo or Stash brand teas, as they are high-quality and retain their flavor for a long time. What's your favorite type of tea?